4 Nisan 2010 Pazar

beautiful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hhX0KkQBW4

13 Şubat 2010 Cumartesi

Loss and Sex

i'd really love to hear someone analyze Antichrist and Don't Look Now... both movies are so beautiful and horrific at the same time, there are striking similarities and contexts... i don't even know where to begin... i guess it's a showcase of my failure and disability... at everything... because of a lack of knowledge, perhaps?

i'm going to venice one day.

6 Şubat 2010 Cumartesi

16 Ocak 2010 Cumartesi

sad story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1224189/Caged-human-zoo-The-shocking-story-young-pygmy-warrior-monkey-house--fuelled-Hitlers-twisted-beliefs.html

Ayşe ve Ali

lately i've been busy with a script. well, a treatment of a script. my teacher is understanding when it comes to our incompetence and sterility. he understands that there is absolutely noone who can write a well-prepared and well-meant and well meaning screenplay. this both frustrates and infuriates me. it frustrates me because he expects so less of us. it infuriates me because he just doesn't want to read through 15 full length feature film screenplays, knowing that they are bullshit. he says he will quit teaching this class because it has driven him up the wall and quite likely into the psych ward soon if he doesn't quit.

that's the trouble with old men. besides being a brilliant intellectual, he is a drunk, a drama queen and a closeted homosexual. no matter these qualities which drag him into hopeless desperation for the world and the future of humanity, this is no reason to be so harsh with us. we need all the energy and support we can get. but i guess hoping support and energy from him would be selfish. after all we'd suck him dry and all there would be left is his big red drunken nose and his hanging beer belly skin.

this story. it's supposed to be a location study. we travelled to the slums and ghettos of izmir, to the beautiful agora and historical ruins and old, old houses, hospitals, bazars and streets. the story is supposed to spur from these locations. it's supposed to be a story specifically rooted in izmir and its beauty.

the problem with me is that i have dressed a formal story of mine onto these locations. at first it seemed a perfect fit and i was delirius with imaginative fantasies, the images of my story floating in those locations.

but now as i write it, i see how hard it is to incorporate a location into a film as a character. that's precisely what we should be doing. a location as a character which breathes and sleeps and wakes up and which makes love. izmir is a beautiful place, our teacher led us into those dark and illustrious places, places which we wouldn't have noticed normally. it is an amazing project...

if not for my story. my story is almost an anti-romantic. it's about a couple who comes together, absolutely meant and perfect for each other, for they are both people with dark and disturbing fantasies. they fulfill, they complete the image of each other not as members of society or community, but as the realization of one's darkest, filthiest wishes.

it's not as stupid as i made it sound here. for the story is just a part of what the film should be, there is the location, the city of izmir. there are the faces of these two people, the bodies, their structure and posture. maybe i'll translate the story and post it up here in the future... but at the moment i must take a break from writing and go back to these locations and study them again. i feel that the more i delve into the story the further i get from the locations. i need to redo. reexplore. reanalyze.

a good location study can be found in the film Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow with the absolutely amazing Sophia Loren. there are no words to describe how amazing she is. she just makes me want to eat and eat and eat and swim in a pool of semen and cum.

d.


15 Ocak 2010 Cuma

20 Aralık 2009 Pazar

insomnia without insomnia


Insomnia Splatter E-mail
If everything behaves as if a sign
had meaning, then it does have meaning.

--Wittgenstein

What for but now send which then
Not nor his cut when tend her mend
Bend bitch up to whine a mutt
Of off hot now send itch,
cool witch
Lend on him notch an end in fry
Warm try how so at less than I
and
Where over, will lullaby is;
Low are the was am my no more
Were she at in would wend we soar
Do there could he no wonder it,
or why.