hehehehehe

sad story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1224189/Caged-human-zoo-The-shocking-story-young-pygmy-warrior-monkey-house--fuelled-Hitlers-twisted-beliefs.html

Ayşe ve Ali

lately i've been busy with a script. well, a treatment of a script. my teacher is understanding when it comes to our incompetence and sterility. he understands that there is absolutely noone who can write a well-prepared and well-meant and well meaning screenplay. this both frustrates and infuriates me. it frustrates me because he expects so less of us. it infuriates me because he just doesn't want to read through 15 full length feature film screenplays, knowing that they are bullshit. he says he will quit teaching this class because it has driven him up the wall and quite likely into the psych ward soon if he doesn't quit.

that's the trouble with old men. besides being a brilliant intellectual, he is a drunk, a drama queen and a closeted homosexual. no matter these qualities which drag him into hopeless desperation for the world and the future of humanity, this is no reason to be so harsh with us. we need all the energy and support we can get. but i guess hoping support and energy from him would be selfish. after all we'd suck him dry and all there would be left is his big red drunken nose and his hanging beer belly skin.

this story. it's supposed to be a location study. we travelled to the slums and ghettos of izmir, to the beautiful agora and historical ruins and old, old houses, hospitals, bazars and streets. the story is supposed to spur from these locations. it's supposed to be a story specifically rooted in izmir and its beauty.

the problem with me is that i have dressed a formal story of mine onto these locations. at first it seemed a perfect fit and i was delirius with imaginative fantasies, the images of my story floating in those locations.

but now as i write it, i see how hard it is to incorporate a location into a film as a character. that's precisely what we should be doing. a location as a character which breathes and sleeps and wakes up and which makes love. izmir is a beautiful place, our teacher led us into those dark and illustrious places, places which we wouldn't have noticed normally. it is an amazing project...

if not for my story. my story is almost an anti-romantic. it's about a couple who comes together, absolutely meant and perfect for each other, for they are both people with dark and disturbing fantasies. they fulfill, they complete the image of each other not as members of society or community, but as the realization of one's darkest, filthiest wishes.

it's not as stupid as i made it sound here. for the story is just a part of what the film should be, there is the location, the city of izmir. there are the faces of these two people, the bodies, their structure and posture. maybe i'll translate the story and post it up here in the future... but at the moment i must take a break from writing and go back to these locations and study them again. i feel that the more i delve into the story the further i get from the locations. i need to redo. reexplore. reanalyze.

a good location study can be found in the film Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow with the absolutely amazing Sophia Loren. there are no words to describe how amazing she is. she just makes me want to eat and eat and eat and swim in a pool of semen and cum.

d.

future of cinema

insomnia without insomnia

Insomnia Splatter by J.C. Hallman If everything behaves as if a sign had meaning, then it does have meaning. --Wittgenstein What for but now send which then Not nor his cut when tend her mend Bend bitch up to whine a mutt Of off hot now send itch, cool witch Lend on him notch an end in fry Warm try how so at less than I and Where over, will lullaby is; Low are the was am my no more Were she at in would wend we soar Do there could he no wonder it, or why.

to lisa

hey lisa

where are you

what happened

there could be several reasons why you've neglected all forms of writing:

1) you've found someone else to write to (possibly a boy, whose letter you wait with 4 eyes (it's a turkish expression))
2) you've someone in your life other than mr. ravi (judging from the last letter you've written)
3) you're waiting for a letter from me
4) you're just sick of the internet and all forms of technology, you don't wanna go near the blare of the computer
5) you're working so much and so hard, that you feel exhausted and/or worn out, and have just enough energy to get on with your daily life and the occasional outing with ravi and friends... and just don't have the time or the energy to get on the internet and write a meaning and long letter to me.
6) you're just sick of writing about yourself, just worn out by the self-centeredness of everything...
7) you've decided to go back to school and you've been busy with that for a whole month and now you just don't have time because of the college parties.

whichever it is, i hope you're well and healthy, and that you're taking care of yourself...

good luck on everything, darling

back to the mediterranean

hello hello

i know

i disappeared

i was in mongolia... not only that, in the countryside, way into the heart of mongolia, to the land where my grandmother was born

it was amazing, didn't wanna come back, didn't wanna leave that beautiful place... it was just bliss, heaven...

and now i'm back... feeling a little disoriented

but all is well, it seems that i was energized and recharged in mongolia... it happens every year i go back... and the funny thing is, the charge runs out around new years... and the 2nd semester of my life, actually my school life which is my life, kinda tumbles on forward, like a child learning to walk and by the time summer has come, i'm a complete mess...

what is up lisa darling? working, i suppose, with all those hormones hehehe, i would think the battle with your hormones would have finished by now, who won i wonder... summer is nasty...

but mine passed on so peacefully and beautifully... and i look forward to autumn and the whole year ahead of me... and to you of course...

love you much much

d.