wine

wine is like music. when you see a musical instrument you immediately fall under its magnificence. with wine it's the same thing. the color encites you just when looking at it. the red of it, the white of it. i never like the color white. i think it doesn't have character. if you argue that it does have a character, it's the character of the rejection of all characters. it's disdain. but white wine... it's not exactly white but nakedness. nudity, not in a promiscuous way but in an innocent and royal way.

always have chosed red wine with my food. it goes well with cigarettes.

i recently saw a movie called: Tout le matins de la Monde. All the Mornings of the World. magnificent. love the cello. it has got to be my favorite instrument. more than the piano and the violin and the harp and the wind instruments. especially when it's deep and brooding. it keeps me grounded almost. it doesn't excite and fool me like most music does. it makes me want to be a better person. kkkkk.

i am tired of myself bitching about everything in this life. when all i have is all that there possibly could be in this world. i have the world at my feet, i have myself at my feet. and yet, i feel that i am scared. and so i back off, almost recoil. why is it that women have this innate fear of being better than our image. fear of stepping out of the frame. or fear of being alone.

i also recently saw the movie The Women. i liked it. i wish in reality life was like that. women actually not backstabbing and pulling each other down. when a man stabs you, it's normal. no matter what you do you cannot save a man from his own fallic ego. but when a woman does it, it hurts like hell, it scares. it freaks. at least it does me.

or maybe i'm just not experienced enough to be talking on this issue and that is the truth.